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We think of dating certain people as “settling” without ever seeing how that person could make us happy in the long-term.
This process begins long before we start dating, in our childhoods, when hurtful interactions and dynamics lead us to put up walls or perceive the world through a filter that can negatively impact us as adults.As a result, we tend to blame our singleness on external forces and fail to recognize that we aren’t as open as we think.2) Unhealthy Attractions When we act on our defenses, we tend to choose less-than-ideal relationship partners.We may establish an unsatisfying relationship by selecting a person who isn’t emotionally available.You may then choose a partner who is aloof or distant.It isn’t always easy to see when we have our defenses up.
If, for example, you were raised by parents or caretakers who were negligent or cold, you may grow up feeling distrusting of affection.
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When you get to a certain age, dating often becomes tiresome and sometimes you might even think about giving up.