Dating with mental illness dating rutec
Her twenty-two-year old daughter Adina had recently begun dating Simcha, a wonderful and kindhearted young man.Things were off to a great start and Adina was already thinking about the next step, but on the fourth date Simcha dropped a bomb: He disclosed that he suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), for which he receives both regular psychotherapy and medication. Reiss spoke with my patient care coordinator, her fears started to settle, but she had a number of serious questions, such as: Is Adina signing up for a life of turmoil by getting married to Simcha? As a mental health professional who works within the Orthodox community, I receive these and other questions very frequently.Devora experienced unrelenting panic attacks, often more than five in a single day, and the last time she ran an errand for her parents at the local grocer, she felt so anxious that she was convinced she would go crazy.And so, Devora initially stopped going to supermarkets, and then she started avoiding the mall, and gradually her world got smaller and smaller because of anxiety, to the point that she could only travel to and from the school in which she worked.In any collectivistic or family-centric culture, mental disorders don’t just affect the individual but also his or her surrounding social and family systems.And the reality is that Orthodox Jewish culture is far more family-centered than general Western culture.I don’t want to hide any part of my personality, which means my depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder will be a topic on the first date.It is my personal belief that potential suitors should be informed before getting too emotionally involved, and while it might not be what they’re expecting, that doesn’t mean it’s not still great.
Therefore, it makes a lot of sense that many Orthodox Jews are asking questions about dating with mental disorders. How much stress can individuals with mental disorders take before falling into old patterns?While a supportive family can be one of the most important psychosocial buffers against mental disorders, Orthodox Jewish family life is inherently hectic and often stressful.This creates a ripe context for mental disorders to become debilitating, while simultaneously generating higher stakes for many people.Some people can handle all that comes with dating a person with mental illness, and some cannot.However, after hiding my depression for years, I cannot allow myself to live that way any longer, and I believe transparency can alleviate that struggle.